Here’s the before version. It reads like 95% of the cover letters out there. Like those other 95%, it basically says, “I know I need a cover letter, so here are some paragraphs of blah.” You can imagine multiple candidates for this position submitting this letter; there’s nothing especially personalized about it.
Dear Hiring Manager:
Your posting on LinkedIn for a Sales and Marketing Coordinator recently caught my eye, and I think you will find I am an exceptional candidate for this position.
I am an accomplished administrative professional and a junior in the Marketing & Management program at Riverrun University. Over the past ten years, I have provided high-level support in a variety of industries and across multiple functional areas. I am now seeking a position that will make the most of my administrative experience while offering additional opportunities for personal and professional development.
In exchange, I offer exceptional attention to detail, highly developed communication skills, and a talent for managing complex projects with a demonstrated ability to prioritize and multitask.
My accomplishments and qualifications are further detailed in the attached resume. I welcome the opportunity to meet with you and discuss the value that I can bring to your organization.
Warmest regards,
Catelyn Stark
After Version
Here’s the after version. It’s awesome. It tells us who the candidate is and why she’s great at what she does. And she’s genuinely enthusiastic. This isn’t a generic letter; it’s a letter about her.
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Read the 'After Version' at Alison Green's excellent career advice blog:
http://www.askamanager.org/2014/02/heres-a-real-life-example-of-a-great-cover-letter-with-before-and-after-versions.html
